Ice cubes in the fire

Now that we're having an EU referendum...

From The Friday Thing:

Reasons for voting 'Non' - We've always hated the French. It's that simple... German translates badly into English, making them all sound like Nazis. For example, by a quirk of translation, 'Would you like a slice of cake?' becomes 'ACHTUNG! The cake you will be having NOW!'... Have you seen what the Spaniards do to those poor little bulls?... Some Germans consider Kevin Keegan perms, leather pantaloons (worn with enormous white Air Jordans) and check pattern blazers to be the height of fashion... Voting 'no' will spite Tony Blair...

"To the best of his knowledge, Saddam Hussein had been nowhere near his head..."

Good to see that the New York times has something of a sense of humour:

In the summer of 2001 the director of central intelligence, George Tenet, was running around with his hair on fire. When told that Mr. Tenet's hair was on fire, President Bush replied, "I'm tired of swatting flies." The president added that the only thing worse than swatting flies was shaking trees. "You can swat all the flies and shake all the trees you want, but it still won't be a silver bullet," the president said.

As August wore on Mr. Tenet's hair blazed out of control. Mr. Bush received a President's Daily Brief, or P.D.B., entitled, "Fire in Tenet's Hair May Spread to His Eyebrow." Unfortunately, the P.D.B. gave no precise information about when the fire might spread, or to which eyebrow. It was a "historical document," written on yellowing parchment in fancy, "Old English" lettering. Besides, as the national security adviser, Condoleezza Rice, pointed out, Mr. Tenet's hair had been on fire since the early 1990's. "Our policy toward the fire raging on George Tenet's head was by and large the one we inherited from the Clinton administration," Dr. Rice said. "It was a policy of containment."

By mid-August Mr. Tenet complained that having his entire head engulfed in flames was making it difficult for him to connect the dots. President Bush said that connecting the dots was a waste of time, right up there with swatting flies and shaking trees.

Poet, and he doesn't know it

Does Ralph Nader, who is again seeking the US Presidency, news that will strike fear into the hearts of voters everywhere, speak in verse?

Here's his announcement:

After careful thought
And my desire
To retire
Our supremely elected president
I've decided to run as an
Independent candidate for president.

Not exactly "I am a very model of a modern major general," but it works.

Hee. Hee hee. Hee hee hee...

Via Wonkette:

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay: "Americans have been tolerant of homosexuality for years, but now it's being stuffed down their throats and they don't like it."

Too true! Most Americans actually prefer to take it in the ass.

Vindication!

From the front page of today's Washington Post:

President Bush acknowledged for the first time yesterday that some prewar assessments of Iraq's weapons stockpiles may have been wrong, and he named a seven-member commission to investigate the nation's intelligence operations. Bush had resisted such a commission until pressure intensified from members of both parties.

Put the funeral on hold...

Blair is here to stay. It's official. Hutton has cleared him, he's lived through top-up fees, and he's now in a strong enough position to demand apologies from Michael Howard and the BBC. He's either a political genius, or unbelievably lucky.

Blair isn't packing his suitcases just yet, I guarantee.

Now that's rebellion...

If you have to blame any rebel, blame Nick Brown. Until this morning, his opposition to top-up fees was based on principle, or so he said. This afternoon, his friend the Chancellor (another Brown) asks him to jump, and all he can do is plaintively ask 'How high?'

But Nick Brown is an honourable man...

Pyrrhic?

So. Blair has his bill. Fees for UK universities will be raised in 2006. And Blair has held on to his job. I'm not quite sure what to make of the government's majority-of-five victory today. People left, right and centre seem to be predicting that this will seriously weaken our Prime Minister, perhaps even fatally. I'm not convinced. I've lost track of the number of times we've been told that this latest setback, this latest humiliation could spell the end of the Labour leader. My gut impression is that Blair's job is secure for the time being. He'll have to make some changes to the way he treats Parliament, but his own job is safe.

Plus, according to The Sun, the Hutton Report will come down on the government's side, condemning the BBC and clearing Tony Blair of 'duplicitous wrongdoing'. We'll know for sure tomorrow, but things are looking up for the PM.

Another Confession

I'm a Dean-iac. Yes, I'm a fan, a follower, a supporter, whatever you want to call it, of Howard Dean. That is nothing to be ashamed of. Really.

So. In the light of his poor third-place showing in Iowa, one might expect me to be a little chastened, a little sorry. I'm not. I think it's an enormous pity that Dr. Dean only placed third in the race, and a pretty weak third at that, but... Goddamn it I stand by my man. I believe he could have done much better, that some of the (enormous amount) of criticism he got in the press and from his fellow candidates wasn't entirely undeserved. However, his passion and his determination still inspire me, and I do believe that if he were given the chance, he could boot Bush from office. Iowa wouldn't give him the chance, so roll on New Hampshire.

"Democrats lash out at Bush"

Just what I like to hear...